And to think that when I got my SAM results, I swore to myself that this would not happen again. The crouching by the corner, the writhing in bed, the tears that cannot flow and the numbness of being a man that could not succeed.

What makes a failure? What makes one not be able to pass? The beauty of failure lies in the fact that it's subjective; everyone has their own passing mark. But beneath its arbitary applicance, a man knows deep down inside of him that whatever happens that has already happened cannot change and regardless of what the world says, you have failed.

Do we wish to fail? A simple analogy would be of lung cancer. Nobody wishes to have lung cancer. But people smoke. But yet these people do not want to be plagued by cancer in the future. It's a really stupid cycle if you look at it in detail but the reason why people still smoke is(and anti-smoking campaigns better take note) because at this very moment as they take in puffs they cannot feel the cancer. Man procrastinates everything, even logic.

The failure to think ahead. Which leads to another failure. And another. And another. A neverending cascading effect that begins with the smallest of dominoes, which push down bigger and bigger dominoes. Slowly and steadily before you know it, there's finally enough momentum to knock down even the largest of them all. And when that happens, there's no one else in the world except you, falling down into a bottomless pit away from the only source of light, furiously trying to get a hold but only successful in grabbing the thinnest of air. Tumbling, tumbling down into a bleak, uncertain death. But death most likely. Or even worse, you never land.


Don't fail. Don't even begin.


And that, is me.