Life changes... and so do we

I do know of course, that one day time will prevail and we will all grow up. Perhaps it was the fear of change or the dismay of losing that beckons me to never consider life changing. Clinging on to vestiges of a previously comfortable life, I had no idea that it could possibly feel this way. The feeling of helplessness as you are unable to speak but just sit there and watch everything around you growing so fast, so unexpectedly... into something so... foreign.

My family's changing. My perspective on life is changing. The people around me are changing. This is a time where I know I will finally comprehend what life is all about. Mayhaps I'm taking myself too seriously. After all, this could be another reoccuring rambling. But who knows? That's the question. DO we?

And all this actually came to me on the eve of the conflict between my sister and my dad. How was Father's day? Filled with tension, if I do say so myself.

The point, however, is that I've came to realise that growing up is a part of life. It IS life. We will shed off our teenage obligations and replace it with adult responsibilities, whether you like it, love it, or fear it.

It may be fun for some, but for others like me, this fragile moment of relationships may turn out differently.

My house IS pretty empty now. My eldest sister has moved out near her workplace, my 2nd sister is in UK, and I'm in BJalil. My youngest bro is left at home, probably going through his high school phase very much differently from how his elder siblings went thru theirs.

My father cried. For the first time in my life, I saw my father cry. I don't know how to feel. It's confusing really since I've never ever thought that he COULD cry. But he did. Myself was feeling such sorrow for seeing him cry for us, his children. And for the first time in my life, I had a heart to heart talk with him. I sat down, spoke to him, and listened to my father on Father's day.

ANd for that single moment, I felt the true meaning of family.

Perhaps all will be better soon. Or perhaps all of us will just be ... growing up.